Enhancing Real Life Romance on the Internet
Although most of the research on Internet romance focuses on couples who meet online, the net is also playing an important role in real-life love affairs. People who are romantically involved can use the net to exchange email, chat online, play games together, or build shared Web sites. Especially when they are physically separated temporarily, the net can offer a means to avoid all those expensive long-distance phone calls. There is reason to think that the text-based communication used in most corners of the Internet may provide a unique way to enrich an ongoing romantic relationship. For example, in a study of the communication patterns of engaged couples, the ones who wrote each other many letters because they were geographically separate were some of the happiest of the group. These couples showed better adjustment and also more love for one another, compared to the ones who did most of their communicating in the face-to-face mode or by telephone. Perhaps the increased tendency to self-disclose when you are sitting at a computer screen encourages more openness and intimacy between real-life couples. Though they may start out using the Internet as a convenience, the environment may actually contribute something quite positive to their relationship. The ease with which you can send an email or an electronic "greeting card" over the Web, for example, may also promote more frequent communication between couples.
Jerry and Tamara L. like to log into the Internet games as a way to have fun together when Jerry is on a business trip to a distant city. Carrying his laptop, Jerry can link to the Internet from his hotel room and join Tamara, who logs in from their home computer, for an evening of adventure as they converse with one another, chat with other in-game friends, and explore the virtual world dressed in their avatars' costumes. Another favorite past-time for this couple is the online bridge game. They never have any trouble finding another couple to join them for an evening of cards, and they have made a number of new online friends at the virtual card tables. Tamara explained how she and Jerry could gossip and share secrets when their bridge partners were boring. They both open a separate chat window and type private remarks there, invisible to the other players.
Before they started to spend time together in this way their communication during Jerry's trips was limited to a few phone calls and they both spent the lonely evenings watching television. Now, they are very happy with the new arrangement and even look forward to their virtual evenings together.